Unconventional Apocalypse Perks

Keys

Truthfully I think the majority of the population have a strategy if the defecation hits the fan or at least have thought about it after indulging in an awesome zombie film. Some people might even enjoy the freedom the apocalypse has to offer or get excited about being able to kick zombie butt! This made me think about what perks I might appreciate in such an event. I would describe myself as an incompetent human, now this could be insulting but I am pretty sure I lose my keys more than anyone else on the planet combined with locking myself out of the house which comes with the territory. Assuming that I will be continually travelling to different places all the time looking after my keys will no longer be a requirement in my life. I am not saying that I have the expertise to break into houses but not having to search for my keys all the time definitely puts my mind at ease. I just need to watch a few YouTube videos so I can learn how to pick locks and hotwire cars before any apocalyptic event happens. If that fails, I will just carry around a brick so I can smash a few windows.

Card

Losing everything is basically part of my DNA so if you happen to be stuck with me in the apocalypse do not trust me to look after anything important (e.g. a cure). Whilst some people out there are looking forward to looting shops to get anything their heart desires because currency has become irrelevant, I am just looking forward to not worrying about losing my debit card on a daily basis. No longer will I get to the checkout to realise that I have left my card in my other coat or discovering it has somehow managed to end up in the tumble dryer and the only possible use for it would be used as wavy ruler. If you are like myself a zombie apocalypse could be a good thing apart from the you might have to occasionally shoot a loved one in the head, you gotta take the rough with the smooth though.

Washing

Right don’t be judgemental but we all have days where we are soap dodgers this also may lead to our skin looking like we have dipped it in a tub of lard (anyway…). I can promise you that I wash but I do delight in the art of slobishness sometimes which isn’t a sin I can tell you. Well everyone in the apocalypse is going to look like a bag of crap for a start so that is a bonus too but that is not my point. My point is that you have the right to get away with not washing for a few days and there won’t be any judgement when you bump into fellow survivors, they will just assume you have been too busy kicking zombie butt to find the time to wash. Trust me I will miss a nice warm shower but I like the idea about feeling bad about not having one for a few days.

Socialising

Being able to avoid socialising is something I consider to be a perk although that does sound completely lonely. On those days when you don’t feel like interacting with others or feel like going out you won’t have to make up an excuse as there are not going to be many parties in the zombie apocalypse not unless you fancy some undead gate crashers. There are no rules thankfully so you can fly solo, if you can tackle the undead on your own and you don’t like people so be it! I would hope a group of survivors take me in, in reality I would not last long on my own.

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17 Comments

  1. Haha I have the same ‘perks’ so maybe we would need more people to bring skills to the party! Post made me saile, very unique!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great first blog post! This is very amusing! It’s very true – we’ll only be thinking of those true essentials during an apocalypse so that we can fight or flight and so a good pair or trainers and comfortable trousers should do the trick!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well if we were all the same it would be boring. Thank you so much for your kind words, I was so sacred of starting a blog. I have taken a read of your blog too I like your stories xx

      Like

      1. Well I openly admitted in my blog I wouldn’t mind missing a wash or two? I have no room for judgement 😅. It depends what job you are doing to because you aren’t doing something you want to do then it is totally acceptable to not want to work.

        Liked by 1 person

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