I’d be THE Inconvenience

In a survival group there are always really useful people then there is the one pain in the butt who can’t go five minutes without needing someone’s help, turns out that person would probably me! Admitting this is so hard, I would like to think in the event of a zombie that I’d be an undead killing badass, but the likelihood of this happening is zero. Why? My first reason being I have no sense of direction although this isn’t an essential part of surviving the Z-pocalypse as long as you direct yourself away from any oncoming zombies, you’re safe. In this type of situation finding a permanent place to reside is important which for a start is going to involve a good amount of map reading and I can’t even direct myself round where I live, when people ask me for directions it is like losing the Sat Nav lottery. I am geographically deficient except there isn’t a vitamin tablet I can take to help me. If I got lost on a supply run, I would be dead, there’d be no way in hell that I could manage to find my way back to camp in an unfamiliar area let alone find anywhere to get supplies.

Let’s just say I’m not fast, I can’t run but I can hide so that’s a bonus. Cardio hasn’t really introduced itself into my life yet which is going to be an issue because the Z-pocalypse is gonna require a fair amount of running, meaning someone is going to be in more danger trying keep my butt safe whilst I endeavour to keep up with everyone else in a bid not become zombie chow. I do exercise (honestly) running just happens to be something I avoid, maybe I should consider doing it more?… Nah! Surely there will be plenty of hiding places in the Z-pocalypse, all I need to do is be quiet (e.g. not fart) and I have the advantage of being small so I can fit in most places. It’ll just be a game of hide ‘n’ seek where I certainly don’t want to be found.