#Unfortunately Timed Gas
In a Z-pocalypse there are plenty of ways to die but I am going to look at a couple of stupid things that could lead to your death. Before we get into it though in a previous blog post I did mention gas (the kind that comes out of your butt) could lead to your death if you are hiding from quite a large group of zombies because if you can’t hold it in the sound coming from your rear might just get you killed. Let’s just say and I think we can agree on this it’s a stupid way to die, I mean you certainly wouldn’t want anyone from your survival group telling anyone else how things ultimately ended for you so I think we can add that to the list, now we don’t have to mention it again.
Focussing on sound being an issue again, in the event that you aren’t lucky enough to be at home when some Z-pocalypse action begins means you’ll be unlucky enough to be somewhere that is pretty unsafe. That doesn’t mean you won’t survive the night; it just means you will have to be careful and keep noise at a minimum. Sounds easy but in all the commotion I’m probably going to take a good guess that everyone including myself isn’t going to stop and make sure they turn off their mobiles or even just get rid of them altogether that might not seem like a thing that would become an issue. If I were lucky enough to make it until the next morning that would be as far as I got because that is when the alarm on my mobile would go off to alert any zombies in ear shot to let them know that a fleshy meal is near. I have alarms to wake me up, to remind me that I definitely need to wake up and I even have alarms to remind me to do basically anything I need to do. I feel like managing to survive only to die because your phone alarm went off is pretty dumb so if a Z-pocalypse ever happens STOP, THINK, PHONE! Don’t be a dumbass, just turn off your phone or alarms.
#Tripping on your Shoe Laces
This section could’ve been named stupid ways I would die but I don’t feel like this only applies to me because I am not the only person that doesn’t tie their shoe laces. I can do it, it isn’t like you need a degree to lace up your shoes but I just don’t tie up my regular day-to-day trainers for ease of just slipping them on (or I am just lazy?) and sometimes there is the odd occasion one of my laces decides to escape from my shoe which never really is a problem. Losing a lace on Z-pocalypse day could be deadly, all it takes is for you to step on your own lace then you will be getting a face full of the floor, guess what happens next? A zombie will be getting a mouthful of you as you have just offered them an easy flesh buffet and you would only have yourself to blame!
After the world starts eating itself nature will have the upper hand with buildings being left untouched. All manner of insects and animals may end up in potential hiding places. Fortunately I don’t live in Australia so I don’t have to worry about entering a building and end up facing a Coastal Eastern Taipan which is the third most venomous snake in the world, dying in an epic zombie battle to avoid that can be excused but screaming because you are scared of a tiny little spider cannot! This may be a stupid reason why a few us end up being one of the undead. If you happen to end up with one on your shoulder just stay calm and breathe, don’t die because you’ve aborted hiding so you can dance around like a lunatic trying to get Incy Wincy off of your shoulder.