Stupid Ways to Die (II)

#Setting of a Zombie Alarm

Just because the electricity is down doesn’t mean batteries are dead! In a Z-pocalypse in particular you’re going to find that some items designed to save your life might actually become the reason you die. Finding safety in houses especially when the weather is colder will be essential to survival, this gives also gives you the opportunity to potentially have a decent amount of sleep particularly if you can get into the attic space for added protection. Again, it all comes down to food with pots and pans will be at your disposal you have the opportunity to cook a meal if you can find a way to light a fire without burning down the building (e.g. bring a barbeque in doors?). Now it is important you don’t become dinner whilst you are making dinner, if you choose not to remove batteries from any fire alarms you are only going to have yourself to blame because even, I have thought of this. Don’t alert zombies! THINK, FIRE ALARMS!

#Fashion Death Statement

Laces have already been addressed, that isn’t the only stupid way to die through how we feel inclined to dress. How you wear your jeans could cause your death too (this isn’t even a reason I would die either!). I am talking about those people out there who have decided that their jeans should be nice and loose so your underwear is on show to the public. With hands busy pushing away zombies’ chances are a similar death will occur to people who haven’t tied their shoelaces (me) except it’ll be because your trousers are round your ankles which is worse, at least you won’t have time feel embarrassed (you will be a zombie soon, they don’t feel embarrassment). In the Z-pocalypse beginning you sort be forgiven (sort of) however if you survive and choose not to use a belt then die later on because of this exact reason you deserve to be eaten by zombies.

#Using Earphones

Forgiveness is granted on day one to individuals who end up joining the zombie crew, you didn’t know it was coming. After day one use of earphones is strictly prohibited for clear reasons. Listening to music can be tempting although dangerous just because you may feel the need to have a moment where you can escape in good song doesn’t mean you should. Just like zombies we need to fully aware of sound, don’t try and receive the Darwin Award in the Z-pocalypse. Only use earphones in a very secure area if you are really missing music.

#You didn’t Zombie Proof Your Hair

Ponytails are just another chance for zombies to successfully achieve their goal of enjoying your fleshy goodness (surprisingly another death option for me). Once they’ve caught your hair it is going to be a lot harder to get away or fight them off even more so if you’re on your own. Zombie proofing isn’t limited to residence, thinking about your body is a must. Having hair to die for shouldn’t be the reason you actually die. Cut it, bun it or stick it under a hat because in the Z-pocalypse your hair is going to be appreciated by zombies far more than anyone else.

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25 Comments

    1. Maybe just hope you find somewhere with a fireplace and construct something over the top so you can use a saucepan. Didn’t think of carbon monoxide, have to open the windows and not use coal on a bbq x

      Liked by 1 person

  1. This is a surprisingly entertaining read! Thanks. I’m one of those who loves imagining myself running away from zombies (go figure!) so this post comes in handy!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, in my imagination, I’m a fearless explorer who can kill zombies, fight evil humans, run and hide from hordes and open cans without a can opener. In reality I’m a lazy hermit who can’t run for the life of me. 😛 I guess that’s why I love zombie movies. We become all that excitement for a bit!

        Liked by 1 person

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