Stupid Ways to Die (III)

#Using lights at Night

It is obvious isn’t it? Hopefully the electric won’t last long for anyone willing to do this. I mean if you are behind really strong walls then you might be able to get away with it but if you are not don’t be a dumbass and have the only house that has lights on, you’ll be attracting zombies like moths to a flame! Probably far more than you can manage, I get it though no one wants to run the risk of a zombie entering and fighting one in the dark. Always keep a torch close by just in case this scenario crops up (if you can find one?) I recommend a wind up one for day-to-day use and a battery one for zombie night duels this means you’re not always scavenging for batteries. Remember there is sometimes no room for error in a z-pocalypse.

#Getting Trapped

Now for some reason (I obviously walk too close to doors, duh?) I do this on a regular occasion. It just happens, I don’t know what to say really. I somehow manage to get attached to door handles all the time whether it’s my bag, sleeve or pocket I walk past then wonder why I am not getting anywhere it’s because I have become one with the door. This currently doesn’t put me in any danger, in a z-pocalypse every second counts especially if fast zombies are involved it becomes a second between living and dying so definitely don’t run too close to door handles when exiting a building. There is also another option here, who knew doors were so dangerous? Most front doors lock when they shut so please make sure when you are in a rush you don’t trap an item of clothing or your bag when trying to escape otherwise you going to actually create a real ‘deaths door’. When you turn into a zombie the others will all make fun of you for being stuck in a door as well.

#Accidently Setting Your Residence on Fire

Unfortunately, I have to admit that I almost did this the other day at least there wasn’t a z-pocalypse (I didn’t notice how close the candle was to a shelf). Now at night you’re probably going to want a bit of light so candlelight is going to be your only option or should be once all curtains have been closed. Just make sure you blow them out before you fall asleep although it may be hard to drift off with the world ready trying to eat you. You will fall asleep regardless, you are going to be exhausted from fighting zombies or scavenging so don’t assume you won’t drift off with your candle on and get burned alive. Being burned alive isn’t the only way to die in this scenario though, waking up is always a possibility but if there is a fire some unwanted visitors won’t be far away. What is worse than a zombie? A flaming zombie! Now they can chargrill before they eat you. Any burns are going to be fatal and hard to treat in the z-pocalypse with zombies constantly grabbing you they will probably end up quite infected.

#Having a Unplanned Zombie Rave

Occasionally in a z-pocalypse for ease of travel you may need to hotwire a car or hopefully find a car with keys in (I don’t know how to hotwire a car, still). Now your luck will run out eventually and it will probably be when you need to be a quiet as possible. Why? Because ‘The Law of Averages’ is going to be waiting for the most inconvenient time so you’ll be trying to as quiet as possible not to alert the z-pocalypse surrounding you, then it’ll happen. You’ll think everything is going well and then it won’t be because you picked the car that has its cd player set to maximum volume, now you are zombie target number one, all jaws are on you! A car windscreen will only be able to take so much before it submits to the z-pocalypse on top of it. Don’t become a zombie meals on wheels THINK, CHECK then TURN DOWN THE VOLUME CONTROL! Lets not assume no one was listening to music before the z-pocalypse kicked off!

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18 Comments

  1. Might not quite be the same but in a role play zombie apocalypse I was left to die because I forgot the password to open the door and my team wouldn’t come back to help.. So my last act was leaving a grenade wedged under the door frame so my not so loyal team would be going out with me!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think I’m a goner this time. I’m such a night person, my lights will be the first to attract them for sure. I’ll try not to set the house on fire in the meantime x

    Sophie

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one that gets caught on door knobs hahaha I’ve always said that’s what’s going to kill me lol

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Is getting trapped inside a room happens because I put things on the handle? That’s a nightmare! Don’t worry, I won’t do it.

    Liked by 1 person

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