Benefits of the Z-pocalypse (Unfortunately Not For Humans!)

This idea has been doing laps in my head for a while now and it wasn’t an idea that I was even going to post but I don’t know it just seems relevant considering the environmental issues our planet is facing right now. It is related to the z-pocalypse as it got me to the conclusion that the planet may actually benefit from eradicating a large number the population. I don’t hate my own species (occasionally I hate myself but I am getting there) but we do seem to enjoy ruining everything we touch. Now we have twelve years to limit climate change and plastic pollution is set to double by 2034, looking at this makes me think damn our planet needs a break! If earth was a human it would be having a mental breakdown right now whilst sitting in a corner eating a tub of ice cream (how would you feel if you had humans walking over you all day and taking chunks out of you?). Now we get to the z-pocalypse part which doesn’t mean we would be eradicated (let’s face it someone has got to survive also we really need someone to look after nuclear power plants) but if a strong enough undead human cannibal virus swept across the globe it might help the planet have a break. In the event of a z-pocalypse we’d have to make use of what we already have and pollution would decrease dramatically just because the population would be virtually non-existent essentially limiting the use of cars and fossil fuels. Earth might actually get the break it deserves! SAVE THE PLANET BECOME A ZOMBIE!

Let’s face facts a z-pocalypse is pretty much going to be a sh*t show for us humans although that isn’t necessarily a bad thing considering the current leaders around the world. Now I am not advocating killing them (in fact I strongly advice against it) but they aren’t completely impenetrable because part of survival is being in the right place at the right time. If they do have luck on their side hunger will drag them out from what rock they’ve hidden under and with seven billion humans on the planet one of them might just take a chunk out of a unwitting Politician/President (if you are currently imagining Trump or Bojo with a zombie clamped down on their butt, don’t worry about it I am too). All I have to say is there will always be someone who wants to lead so you better get your speech ready if you are up for the job. Maybe Tallahassee will be available?

I am just as sucked into social media and technology as everyone else (no lies here) most of us have some sort of device. This is not me saying that it is all bad but I just think maybe a z-pocalypse would enable us to have a suitable timeout. Maybe we need it? When we think about the affect it has on people from self-esteem to just making us zombies anyway. There aren’t any filters in the z-pocalypse and everyone is going to look like a bag of crap so we won’t be comparing ourselves to anyone else. Yep, no selfies with zombies are allowed either not unless you fancy a rather unfortunate death (Stupid Ways to Die (IV)?) you’ll be too busy kicking zombie butt and trying to find food to worry about things like that. Before you know it there won’t be any electricity so drop your phone, pick up an axe and become a zombie killing badass instead. Once everything is over and done with there’ll also be plenty of jobs available for those who have survived too.

The human population increases by eighty-three million each year yet some animals are on the brink of extinction from the humble honey bee to the black rhino but who is to blame? US! Of course, it is! Deforestation, the use of pesticides and poaching is all playing a big role in the extinction of certain animals. Without honey bees we are basically screwed anyway so we might as well have an undead human vs human z-pocalypse come along, it might give a different species a chance to win for a change? Animals may actually have a chance to thrive while we are too busy battling each other, we won’t have the time to use pesticides or take away animal’s habitats. Again, I am not advocating our death but just because the z-pocalypse isn’t good for us doesn’t mean it’s all bad, maybe we can’t always win!

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14 Comments

  1. I’ve harbour this scenario myself!

    Actually even if there isn’t a z-pocalypse, we’re killing ourselves anyway. So a z-pocalypse may mean survival for humanity since it’ll cut our carbon emissions way more than our current efforts! Haha I’m too obsessed with the climate crisis.

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  2. I mean, I definitely agree that less humans would be massively beneficial for the planet and, probably, for us. I’m not sure I personally fancy my chances (I’m kind of small and pathetic), but something needs to be done, so maybe this is it! Thanks for a really original take on the climate crisis 🙂 (I liked the Trump/Boris butt-chewing image, by the way.)

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    1. I don’t fancy my chances either because I am also a small human. I just feel like we can book holiday and have a break from work but the Earth can’t just book time off, it has us constantly walking all over it.

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  3. Why does your post remind me of A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift? Maybe because (I figure) I’m not supposed to take you 100% seriously, haha? If you’ve never A Modest Proposal, look it up. It’s classic satire.

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    1. Well it’s not completely serious because I wouldn’t recommend killing everyone but on the other hand if it did happen it might just be the solution to some of the issues that our planet is facing at the moment. My posts are generally light hearted because my whole blog is about random zombie apocalypse stuff. I just go to different places on my brain train. I haven’t but I will take a look. Thanks for stopping by.

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  4. We do so much damage to the planet that there is no denying that all of us collectively work tirelessly to get it done. I think we are capable of doing so much good, and if possible go back and learn from how indigenous populations lived pre-colonialization. We seriously f*cked the world up, smdh! As for me surviving in a z-apocalypse, I don’t think I’d do well. I’m fat and slow, haha!

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  5. All kidding aside, we do have an overpopulation problem. Less people would mean less garbage, less pollution, less people to need to feed etc. Something is going to give one of these days, whether we like it or not.

    Interesting and entertaining read.

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  6. Part of the issue is that we waste resources more than over population.

    But this is one of my favourite sci fi takes. I saw a (pretty bad) B movie one night on TV with the concept that mother nature was redressing the balance and emitting a gas from trees that made everyone kill themselves for like 48 hours. There was also a TV series, I think revolution? That takes place about 10 years after an apocalyptic event of all the power going out. It had a weird ending (I think the series might have been cut) but the return to feudal systems was fascinating.

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