Z-pocalypse Problems and Me!

#Dealing with ‘A’ Class A-holes!

In the z-pocalypse it would be wrong to assume that every survivor you encounter is a good person, there are plenty of bad people that have access to illegal firearms who are more than likely going to survive. The problem is dealing with them as I am (or try to be) a nice/naïve person although I can be sarcastic when I feel like it which means if I came in contact with an A-hole means I’ll get stripped of everything I own. Unless they catch me on a sarcastic day then I will be on the receiving end of headshot for saying something stupid! I am really not good when it comes to dealing with other humans especially bad ones.

#Sleepy Combat

I am categorically not good at mornings; it isn’t specifically aimed at the usual cliché of not wanting to get up (sometimes I don’t want to). My skill set hasn’t acquired the ability to wake up and be a functional human being, I don’t even know what planet I am on when I wake up or know what my name is. Fatigue is going to be a major issue in the z-pocalypse which is also going to make waking up even more challenging. There is no way I am going to be able to wake up and be ready for full on zombie combat! I’d just think a zombie was just an average human trying to wake me up so I’ll just attempt to use some sort of English to tell them to go away as it highly plausible whilst I am in a sleepy state that I would have forgot that the z-pocalypse has even happened. If the situation arose where I had to use full on zombie combat in a sleepy state then I am being eaten for sure!

#Toothbrush Troubles

Being fully aware there aren’t going to be many dental surgeries that are going to operational during the z-pocalypse I am probably going to want to take any chance I get to implement some sort of oral hygiene even though it is not essential part of survival. Now this is not for aesthetic reasons (no one is going to give a damn about your teeth just whether or not you have a pulse) but fighting zombies is going to hard enough without adding a side dish of toothache. I am fully aware people out there who share their toothbrush (cringing already), it just so happens I am NOT one of these people, I can’t even watch someone else brush their teeth. Trouble is pickiness isn’t really option, you’re better off using a second hand toothbrush left by the previous owner of the house your held up in rather than risking your life attempting to get hold of a new one. Long story short I am probably going to die just so I don’t have to use someone else’s toothbrush.

#Dealing with the P-pocalypse in the Z-pocalypse

Men of the world I won’t judge you for not reading this, actually I am lying we have to deal with the p-pocalypse every month the least you could do is understand our suffering. Trust me when I say dealing with a woman on her period during the z-pocalypse is going to be the real 28 days later! There are still perks like being able to grab a spade and crack open some zombie skull when you become a p-pocalypse rage monster. The perks don’t outweigh the negatives though as the p-pocalypse has additional extras such as body odour, greasy hair, cramps and the need for sanitary products (periods are just magical!). Without having easy access to showers (tasting bitter sweet irony right now) things are going to be grim. Even with reusable eco-friendly sanitary products on the market the use of these doesn’t come without the issue of how to keep them safely sanitised and clean. Myself and many other females included aren’t going to be very hospitable during a p-pocalypse, we probably won’t be able to stand the smell of our own armpits let alone other humans and our interests will revolve around finding a mountain made out of chocolate.

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8 Comments

  1. This post is interesting. In my case, I’d be too scared to sleep. Also, you combined P-pocalypse and Z-Pocalypse!? That is the worst problem among the others that I can imagine

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Now periods in the Z-pocalypse could be interesting indeed….especially if they are the type of zombies that smell blood!

    I often wonder if we had an apocalypse that wiped out our tech how our circadian rhythms might change and adapt.

    As for teeth we’ll have to go back to the old ways of chewing twigs to clean our teeth 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Who knows, maybe sleeping in is better. Perhaps zombies are most active in the morning? 😛

    I’ve wondered a lot about periods in a world of zpocalypse, I’ll be shriveled up in a hole in a cocoon of pain and a pool of my own filth. Ugh.

    😛

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It is interesting to learn about the different -pocalypses. I know I wouldn’t even sleep if there’s an invasion like this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I know I can relate to the P part! Haha.

    Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me

    Liked by 1 person

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