Stupid Ways to Die (IV)

#Taking a Zombie Selfie

I mentioned this in a previous post so now it has to be here, it’s the law! (It isn’t but we can pretend it is, just humour me. .) Okay, I wouldn’t have the guts to hold a zombie still just for a photo but we shouldn’t assume that no one would be tempted to do this, maybe you bump into a zombified celebrity and you can’t help yourself. Celebrity or not zombie selfies are completely out of the question. It is just advisable to stay as far away as possible from the relentless flesh-eating machines of the z-pocalypse, it is neither big nor clever.

#You stepped back

The z-pocalypse allows survivors to get a little bit of slack for travelling upstairs in a building, it is still not ideal but if a horde is blocking all of the exits you are probably not going to have much of a choice. That is where the slack ends though (I did say a little bit of slack). Once you hit the roof the most important rule to remember is the roof ends so think logically and don’t step too far back! If you do but falling off doesn’t kill you then you’re going to wish it did because you’ve just turned yourself into a zombie ready meal. Whilst you’re duelling on the roof just think about how damning falling off a roof is going to be. If the zombies start getting too close chuck them off instead! You’ll either kill them properly or they will stand up and walk off.

#Not Carrying a Weapon

Obvious, right?!? I really shouldn’t have to put this on here with zombies roaming everywhere weapons are key to surviving the z-pocalypse, again obvious. Well watching a zombie film last night where two out of the three survivors weren’t carrying a weapon and I know zombies are fictional but I can only assume they used magical fairy dust to survive as long as they did. Being an unarmed survivor is simply stupid and you’ll end up tapping out of the z-pocalypse way before you have a chance to try and live. A butter knife is also not a useful weapon to put down the undead (I have seen a movie where this was a weapon choice! I didn’t finish it). If you choose a stupid weapon you’re asking to be a z-pocalypse kebab!

#Shooting Yourself

Okay, I think this every time I watch ‘TWD’ and see the characters put guns in the back of their jeans. If that was me, I would’ve created a new A-hole already, how embarrassing would that actually be? That isn’t the only way to shoot yourself stupidly especially if you’re like me, then tripping over thin air and accidently shooting yourself is another stupid way to die. Again, inflicting any serious injury on yourself is going to be fatal unless you’ve managed to find a community like in ‘TWD’ where they have a doctor and seem to be able to survive practically anything but I got a feeling I won’t be that lucky. Just make sure the safety is on when you put a gun down your pants, no one needs two A-holes!

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1 Comment

  1. Very good points indeed! Would the flash from a selfie also attract more zombies?

    I can see being without a weapon for short periods of time, such as if my axe got stuck in a zombies skull and I didn’t have time to yank at it before running from the hoards

    Liked by 1 person

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